Saturday, 5 September 2015

Time To Parent Your Parent






Where do I begin? I didn’t know until last morning that this would be my subject matter of discussion. A small emergency in your family, and it’s as if somebody wakes you up from deep slumber.

Yes slumber. Cos that’s the state you are in if something’s right in front of you, but you’ve been too occupied to realise it.




We tend to feel that old people being moved to old age homes are the only ones who are in need of our service. But the truth is, old people in our own homes, be it grandparents or parents, each one of them needs attention once they cross a particular age.  

As we move from one decade to another, we are getting more educated and more exposed, more tech-savvy and more advanced. But thats also making us busier and self-centred. I don’t really mean selfish. We may have noble intentions and we may be good at heart. But in this race that life has become today, in our hurry to reach our destination, we are missing very important facets of the journey. And one such utmost important aspect is finding time for your own parents. Spending time with them is very important, yes. But being around them and for them is all the more essential.

In a developing country like India, many men and women who turned proud parents in the 70s and 80s are living all by themselves, in the sunset phase of their life. This generation especially was one which never really did anything for themselves. They spent a major part of their lives obeying their parents and are spending the rest listening to their children. They spent their whole life tending to their previous gen and providing for their next gen. They toiled hard night and day, and made their children capable of reaching great heights. They carved the way for their children’s bright future and better lifestyle, while sacrificing their own dreams and aspirations. Today, every child of this generation is well-educated and well-off.

The children wanted to fly so they gave them wings. But once the little one flew away from the nest, the parent was left behind all alone. The child got busy, with his life, his dreams, maybe also his children. Oh no, this child is not a bad one either. He loves his parents, misses them, looks out for them, but from a distance. Career or spouse. Reasons may vary, but the outcome is the same. Lonely parents.

Our parents, who held our fingers and taught us how to walk. Our parents who taught us how to talk. Our parents, who stayed up all night taking care of us when we were sick. Our parents who for our smile, came up with every trick.

At an age, where they are tired and truly exhausted, due to all the hard work they’ve put in for their family all their life, all they need is a hand. They need us, our presence and our support.

All of us want happiness for our parents. All of us mean well. It’s just that we tend to forget, that their biggest source of happiness is us. And however much they may want us around, they love us too much to confess it. So friends, as you pave your way forward in this world, be sure to look back and hold hands of the ones who brought you here in the first place.

It is time indeed to parent your parent.




PS. Happy Teachers’ Day to my parents. And to yours. They are the first ever and the best teachers that life could ever give anybody.


32 comments:

amruta said...

Excellent writeup! I loved the idea parent your parent. Undoubtedly they are the best teachers ever!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Amruta! I'm glad you liked it :-)

Jayashree Telang said...

Feels like you are speaking on behalf of so many of us. Beautiful thought. Parent the parent. Thanks for sharing.

Jayashree Telang said...

Feels like you are speaking on behalf of so many of us. Beautiful thought. Parent the parent. Thanks for sharing.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Pleasure is mine :-)

vishal bheeroo said...

Couldn't agree more. No citizen in a society deserve to be ignored. Very well put:)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks so much Vishal!

Sonal Bhalerao said...

So true ! The time and attention which our parents have given us in our childhood we need to give it back to them in their old age. There can not be any excuse for that.... As its said oldage is another childhood in humans life so we have to be parents of our parents in their oldage....

Leena Walawalkar said...

Rightly said Sonal! And nothing we do can ever match up to what they do for us...

Ashwini Sarnaik said...

Parent your parent..Just apt and unfortunately true for most of us. Sunset phase of their life....i like that.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Ashu...yes it is unfortunate indeed.

C'est La Vie said...

That is such a beautiful post Leena. I really feel sad that my parents too are all alone in this stage of life. With their son in the military and daughter married away, they are left by themselves. They are still young and no physical problems but loneliness itself is so hard.

However, i do quip saying, "to phir kyunki meri shaadi itni jaldi" ;-)

Like you said, its the dilemma with our generation. even if the kids love their parents to bits, responsibilities keep them apart. What can one do. They wont come live with their daughter...just wont! And since my dad too is an ex-airforce personnel, who spent his life being transferred from station to station, he doesnt want to do the same thing living with his pilot son. He wants to go back to his hometown and settle. The pilot son cannot do that. So loneliness it is. All we can do is skype a lot and visit often :)

Sorry, get used to long comments, i have trouble being concise :p

Leena Walawalkar said...

I could actually picture the whole thing...I can so imagine your emotional plight Mamta! Its not easy making them do what we want, even though its for their own good! They have strong principles and nothing can change those!

Thanks so much for pouring your heart out, I really felt connected! And long comments shall never be a problem for me, bring them on :-)

C'est La Vie said...

:-)

Rajeev Moothedath said...

With youngsters like you Leena, our country could stll be saved.Kudos to your noble thoughts!

magiceye said...

Thoughtful and insightful post indeed

shraddha singh said...

yeah ....true... :)

Indrani said...

Very thoughtful post for the day!
You have coined a good term: Parent your parent! :)

Sreedhar Bhattaram said...

So nicely said Leena.. Hatsoff to your deep feelings towards Parents.. Please read my Post http://sreedharb.blogspot.in/2015/07/the-right-introspection-would-sure-help.html

Kishor Kumar said...

Very appropriate post.. Well written too...While parents have taken care of their children as long as they could...became their first teacher, first friends and what not. It's the duty of all children to take care of their parents when time comes.

Jyoti Dehliwal said...

सुन्दर प्रस्तुति...लीना जी

Rajesh said...

Very well said. This will be eye-opener for many.

Sri Kri said...

Parent your parent.Well said Leena.Hats off to you for writing this post.

Cheers,
Sriram & Krithiga

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks for those sweet words Rajeev. I hope all of us think on similar lines.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Glad you liked it Deepak :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks for that Shraddha!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Indrani dear! Appreciative as always :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Mr Sreedhar! The idea was to spread the word, hope I can do that. And I shall surely read.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Yes Kishor, it indeed is, there can be no two ways about it!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Jyotiji.

Leena Walawalkar said...

I'm glad you feel so Rajesh!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you so much SriKri. Appreciate :)