Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Hai Dhuaan Hai Dhuaan .......





This is a public apology letter, long due. Better late than never! A humble attempt to say ‘Pardon me’, to various sections of the society.

The Occasion? Christening of Delhi as a Gas Chamber.
The Need? Silly desire to breathe fresh air (other Metro Cities aren’t lagging far behind).
The Convict? Apparently all the elderly, all the infants, all of those with a chronic lung condition or with heart problems.
The Magnanimous Forgivers? The below mentioned Samaritans.


Image Credit: cliparts.co

  • First and foremost, I apologize to mankind for the title of this post. The song is hummable; lets give him that, shall we?
  • Moving ahead, I apologize to owners of all those trucks, rickshaws and vehicles, which use adulterated fuel. Imagine, people like me actually have the nerve to frown, when all these vehicles do is simply leave balls of smoke in my lungs.
  • Oh yeah, the snobbish show-off families, where the father believes his power is arrived at, by the members in the family multiplied by the number of cars.
  • And every teenager chhava, who has faith that he’d impress the chhavi with his driving skills, and that teenager chhokri who needs the wheels at her hand to feel liberated.
  • I also apologize to the corporates, whose employees are left with no choice but to arrange for their own travel mode, cos the employer is too chikoo.
  • An advanced apology to those car owners who must’ve had a brainwave when the odd-even car rule was announced, leading to a visit to car showrooms. What for? For picking up another appropriate car, silly!
  • And oh yeah, not to miss out that dhaasu category of people, who would’ve started making arrangements for alternate nameplates.  
  • I extend the apology to those taxi/rickshaw drivers, who would be waiting with bated breath for the decision to roll in. Boni ka time hoga na! Looto!
  • So who’s next? It’s the ever-friendly section of the traffic police, who eagerly look forward to the release of new rules. Cos its simple, rules are meant to be broken. And pardoned with a Gandhi imprinted piece of paper.
  • How can we forget the Netajis? Don’t they simply deserve a special thank-you note? One that could even be framed separately.

The task shall be incomplete without this. A warm heartfelt note of gratitude to the decision makers the country has had the fortune of having since Independence!

a. For dragging metro cities to the state they are currently in, with incessant dedicated work over the years, involving but not limited to, corruption and selfish political agendas.
b. For breaking down the very backbone of the metros, the infrastructure. And expecting now, that without any good connectivity, people shall still reach workplaces sans their private vehicles. Chaar kadam chaldo na saath mere? Or better still, spend alternate nights at work?
c. For ensuring that women are so terrified in the country that they drive around in their own vehicles more out of necessity. And then asking the same women to travel at odd hours in stranger cars (paving way for the shameless ruthless a**holes of the country to have a field day).
d. Oh, before I miss out, the opposition parties, who would even in their slumber state, be shouting slogans ‘Nahi chalegi, nahi chalegi, tanashahi nahi chalegi’. More often than not, without knowing what it is that they are actually opposing.


To all these great souls I very respectfully apologize. And yes, lets not forget the hidden perks. Who needs the foggy Swiss Alps anymore? We have our very own smoky locales for the Johars and the Chopras. Hai dhuaan hai dhuaan!





55 comments:

sujata sengupta said...

Very well written again and quite a hitting comment on the state of affairs. I like your humorous jabs!

saloni said...

A different writing style from you. A perfect satire in the country's state

PBCHATURVEDI प्रसन्नवदन चतुर्वेदी said...

Nice and very well written...

vishal bheeroo said...

You nailed it, Leena. A superb take on the sad state and pit places like Delhi is in due to apathy and inefficiency. People need to be the change. Just loove the post:)

Somali K Chakrabarti said...

A very good satire Leena. That looks like a comprehensive list of all those who need to be thanked for converting Delhi into a gas chamber.

JAMSHED AZMI said...

A perfect satire in the country's state. Very well written. Thanks for sharing.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Sujata! Genuinely glad about your sweet words :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Hehe! Saloni dear, I try my hand at satire off and on.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Chaturvedi ji! Welcome to my blog :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Haha Somali, I so wish we wouldn't have reached a point where we were forced to write such thank you letters!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Pleasure was mine Jamshed! Glad you liked it :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

So glad Vishal buddy that you think so! Thanks a ton for those words :)

magiceye said...

Well said! A sad case of urban gas traps.

Kishor Kumar said...

That's a nice insight into the even-odd formula

Maniparna Sengupta Majumder said...

The sharp satirical prods are awesome and, true indeed. Well written, Leena..(y)

Ruchi negi said...

nice..aptly written ...with such gud humour :-)...

rangelz said...

The satire was jabbing and very well written. As I travel, I see many cars, trucks and heavy vehicles emitting dark fumes that look very scary. Even then, the cops get hold of all the tiny vehicles alone. I wonder how these black smokes go unnoticed.

It must be the same case when it comes to other pollutants too.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Deepak uncle!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Glad you found it so Kishor!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Mani dear :)
So glad you think so.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Ruchi! Welcome to my blog :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

So true Ranjini! The state of affairs is such that its scary to even think what kind of life how our next generations will lead!

ilakshee said...

You have hit the nail.We as citizens need to wake up and do our bit

Indrani said...

Good punch Leena.
I too am frustrated.

Sadhvi said...

Not only Delhi ,even Hyderabad is like that .I read somewhere that spending an hour on roads in Metro cities is equal to consuming 10 cigarettes /day.

Alok singhal said...

I don't think you've left anybody in the blame-game, not that we are blaming !

A great write-up, meaningful and crisp! Welcome to India, where anything and everything is possible.

Leena Walawalkar said...

True dat Ilakshee! Each one of us needs to chip in.

Leena Walawalkar said...

It is frustrating isn't it Indrani? When you scores of people who are indifferent and shall be ruining the world in effect for our children, one gets frustrated, to say the least.

Leena Walawalkar said...

So true Sadhvi dear, we might as well start doing all things we abstain from, for health purposes!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Absolutely Alok! More than a blame-game, the hope is that whoever reads this tries to do his small bit at least.

Pankaj Kumar said...

Very Nice!Very relevant!

Saket said...

The title pulled me towards reading this :)

Appreciate the sharpness of your thoughts and the interesting way of delivering it.....

specs buffy said...

Leena...liked the banter and the lampoonery of our great nethas...

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Pankaj! Welcome to my blog :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Saket! Such words are always encouraging. Keep coming by :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Hehe, thanks Sunita. Yep, wish our Netas would be great in the real sense of the word!

Sonal Bhalerao said...

Very nice

Sonal Bhalerao said...

Very nice

Chaicy Style A Pastiche said...

That was a very well written piece, I love your style of writing with a dash of sarcasm. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Can't believe that a beautiful city like Delhi has been reduced to a mere gas chamber :(

xoxo - Style.. A Pastiche

Pins N Ashes said...

So to the point and hits the target Leena.

Datta Ghosh said...

very well said, satire at its best. Yes, we need to appologize

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Sonal!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Chaithra, for those sweet words! Glad you feel so :)
And yeah, it is a sad state indeed!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Pins n Ashes! Tried to click your link, but it doesn't direct me to any live page dear!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thankyou so much Datta! A warm welcome to my blog :)

Ananya Kiran said...

Love ur unique writing style :)

Yogi Saraswat said...

I also apologize to the corporates, whose employees are left with no choice but to arrange for their own travel mode, cos the employer is too chikoo.well said the real things !!

Rat said...

Good satire about the situation.. Well written Leena!

Rat said...

Good satire about the situation.. Well written Leena!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks so much Ananya dear!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Yogi! :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks a ton Meera dear :)

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sweetyshinde said...

Superbly sarcastic.

You forgot the
1] 'smoker' Samaritans, male - and increasingly female who think its OK to puff out carcinogens into our lungs.
2]And contractors who 'murder' trees in acid attacks.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Sweety! And glad you made those additions to the list. Passive smoking is so 'in', I tell you! And murdering trees, ask an Indian who lives in Singapore, and suffered for more than two months, cos people in Indonesia burnt trees!